Books - Books - Books!

It's a brand new year (2006), the usual time for resolutions. No exception here, friends. My library overflows, occupying valuable space in my humble abode. (I've always wanted to find a way to say humble abode somewhere.) So we talked it over; and the cat can stay, but the books need to find loving homes. Not all of them, of course! Laws, no! M-O-O-N spells "I'm keeping all the out-of-print John D. MacDonald paperbacks." And the hardcovers, too. And the "just-in-case" duplicates of the older Travis McGee novels. And the Jeffrey Archer short story collections, all three (four?) of them.

The rest can go, however. With-in reason. I'm using Amazon.com's Marketplace system, which is reasonably friendly for small, independent sellers. Plus, with nine years' experience there, it seems a trustworthy place. Now, all I have to do is prove that I am trustworthy, too! (Building a background of Buyer Feedback takes time, like all good things.) I have no intention of competing with the Penny Merchants (high-volume sellers who may or may not be dependable). What I do intend is to provide the best personal service I can offer. I love my books, and want everyone who ends up with one of them to be happy with his or her purchase. That's reasonable, isn't it?

If you have come here from one of my listings, please feel free to stay awhile. This is me, here, on this Blog. Read my Profile, leave me a Comment, or send me an email. Or simply browse my posts for the fun of it. Then go back, and see if I have a book you like. Please! And always, always remember to leave Feedback when you buy at Amazon--from me, or any of the other reputable sellers there. We all rely on your goodwill. Thanks for stopping by! Oh, yeah, just disregard the date shown for this Post: it's simply a method to keep this article at the top of the page! [Jim Bessey, Spencerport NY, 10 Jan 2006]

Where's my mid-winter muse?

Have I had a case of writer's block lately? Given my past propensity for verbosity, one might surely think so! I do love to hear myself go on...and on. I have to admit, however, that the past few weeks have been hectic and somewhat overwhelming. Most nights I hardly feel the urge to express myself; so I do some reading and watch some TV (if I can find anything new on the tube). We have quite a bit of change going on here in our little upstate NY world: new job (of which I've written more than enough on my business blog, linked over there on the right), house-hunting, college-searching, kid-entertaining, and so on. It's tax time, too, which comes with its own set of stressors. Most change is, after all, stressful--even if it's good change, or leading to a better life for us in the future. For myself, at least, I find it hard to write when I'm feeling stressed. Some people tell me it's just the opposite for them: writing (esp'y blogging) helps them reduce stress. Unfortunately, that formula doesn't work for me.

The result is that I've let my cozy blog-space sit mostly idle lately. Makes me feel a bit like I'm neglecting a friend (of which I'm also guilty lately). The nice thing about words, though, is that they "keep." I'm not a news-hound; this isn't some op-ed current events blog. Mostly, this is a place for me to muse. I've written at length about some of my cherished opinions regarding the world around me. I'm sure I'll have more to say in the future, too. I do enjoy posting to my two weekly "features"--Tuesday Trivia and the Friday Song. I miss doing those, and will get back to them soon. I also enjoy writing about the exploits of my wonderful kids--they like to read about themselves, too!

Perhaps my neglect of this blog is simply a symptom of "winter blahs." The big holidays are passed, and the weather has settled into a typical cold/dreary mid-winter tedium. My internal batteries do seem to pretty flat by March. It' s been sunny lately, though, and spring is now firmly on the horizon. There's hope for me, after all. I'll be back in form soon enough. Why, just look how much I've been able to write today, while saying very little in the process! Enough said, for today anyway.

Not so Trival Tuesday: sending signals

Mike and I did a job for a new customer this morning. It was a tricky one, but all went well and we were "in and out" by lunchtime. This was one of those rare customers who likes to watch but doesn't like to interfere. He's a big NASCAR fan, and so is Mike, so there was quite a bit of friendly banter--just short of the "less talk and more action" point. This customer, Jack's his name, offered us coffee and food, even beer. We gratefully drank his coffee. Jack is also one of those exceedingly rare customers who smokes inside his own home. I'm so used to stepping outside to take a cigarette break, that it felt very strange to light up indoors. (I don't really miss it anymore, though it was annoying at first when the restaurants had to ban smoking.)

As I said, the job went very well. Mike and I work well together, and there were no glitches or product defects. This was our very first job for T. McKenna Plumbing, Inc.--so the fact that it went more than OK was wonderful. The real treat came while we were packing up. I noticed that Jack was on the phone. Then I realized he was calling our new employer. (This almost never happens, except in the case of unresolvable problems.) Jack made his call in front of us, without fanfare, but in such a way that we couldn't help but overhear. He was calling to say what a fine job we had done, and to compliment our employer and us. He also mentioned several times how nice the job turned out: it was a specialty, all-custom shower door in gleaming bright brass. Any tiny error would have been glaring.

I've had compliments before, even received some very nice tips. Every now and then, a customer will send a note to the office expressing his pleasure. Anyone in any service industry knows how much we treasure these beyond-price rewards. This was, however, the first time I'd ever actually been privy to a customer's "I'm so happy" telephone call. What a great feeling!

This got us talking. Jack was well aware of the effect his call had on Mike and me. We are all familiar with the opposite phenomenon. A displeased customer makes no bones about his feelings. You can be sure his displeasure will be aired, one way or another. It's all part of the squeaky wheel syndrome, and the fact that it's much easier to be negative than positive in life. How often have you seen signs planted in someone's yard protesting this or that, with the big red circle-slash over the disliked event? It takes someone with self-confidence, awareness, and empathy to offer up unsolicited positive feedback. Of course, the very rarity of compliments in everyday life also reinforces their value to us all. If everybody was thoughtful and nice, would we even notice?

Wrapping this thought up--think about this for a moment: how do you say nice things to other drivers? We have all sorts of gestures for various road infractions. The most popular, of course, is the flipping of the bird. Translate as appropriate to the offense. We can say "what the heck?!!?" by flaring both hands in the air. Several other more specific gestures are available, depending on the occasion. Anyone who drives busy roads has seen them all, and even sent some out to other drivers, I'm sure. On the other hand, unless you want to wave someone ahead ("you go first" or the like), we lack the means to communicate friendly or helpful thoughts car-to-car.

How would you tell another driver he has a headlight out? Or that his left turn-signal isn't working? Can you think of a way to say "nice car!" with your hands? Maybe a thumbs-up would do it, though I doubt the recipient would be sure of your intent. I once spent nearly ten miles trying to communicate this thought with another motorist: "all your personal belongings are flying out of your boat and landing in the road." It wasn't until we pulled alongside him, and my son rolled down the window to yell across to him, that we finally gave him the news he really needed to have. I still laugh about that one; I'm sure it wasn't the least bit funny to him! He probably thought I was trying to get by his truck and boat--that I was in some big hurry and wanted him to move over--right up until he finally got the message.

Years ago, some enterprising entrepreneur came up with what probably seemed to be a very good idea. He or she devised a simple system of signs with messages for other drivers. It was a cute little flip-chart on a stick, with various printed blurbs: "you're hot!" or "nice car!" or "wanna race?". Stuff like that. I thought it was a great idea at the time; but I never bought one. I doubt I ever saw one for sale. Those are probably worth a few bucks now. I'm sure you can't buy them new. I think most people are happy with the current system. You always have that one particular finger handy, whenever you need to tell another motorist he's "number one." And it's free, too. Maybe someday someone will conceive a brilliant solution to this whole communication breakdown. (My youngest says we should all have electronic signs in the back window that would display assorted messages--a cool idea, but expensive and unwieldy, IMO.) Until such time, I'll continue to work on the hand signal for "your back tire is almost flat, have a nice day!" How does that one go, again?

By the way, Happy Valentine's Day!

Offering some lame excuses...

I'll admit freely: I've been a bad blogger. And this isn't my first offense, either. This is my space (well, not "MySpace" or however that one looks), and I'm the one who set the standards to which I had hoped to adhere. (Yikes!) I started this personal blog with good intentions, and lots of ambition. I still have good intentions, but the ambition's been hibernating lately, I swear. So I'm dissappointing myself; I am my own harshest critic, I suppose. But I haven't been posting much lately. No Tuesday Trivia, no Friday Song, or even Monday Musings (which I was never very loyal to in the first place). Sorry to me.

We've had a strange winter here. That's my excuse. My whole system is discombobulated. It's been warm, the grass has been growing, then it got cold, then warm again, then bitter and icy. Sheesh. Welcome to New York. My old job is ending, a new one beginning. Another excuse. Birthdays, Christmas, unexpected trips to plan...more excuses. Maybe I have nothing to say. (That'll be the day!) Maybe I have too much to say, and simply can't make up my mind. That's more likely. Life is mostly good here in Upstate NY, though. I can't complain, and nobody will listen anyway. So here I am, doing my pennance by keyboard. Exercising my fingers. I promise to do better. I really do. Next time.

I'll see you here then. Thanks for listening. Have a nice day. Please come again. Your call is important to us: please continue to hold. We're from the government, and we're here to help. Oh, nevermind! Do come back, and bring a friend. (Who was that masked man, anyway??)

Tuesday Trivia meets the Friday Song

Sometimes when you miss a deadline, you have to crunch your assignments together. You might call it cheating; but the results can be interesting. Returning readers know that my regular Tuesday Trivia posting is missing in action. However, it's already Saturday night here, so my Friday Song write-up is also late. I had to ask myself: should I trivialize the Friday Song? Or, should I set the trivia to music? Easy choice, obviously. Let's talk about more than one song, then. I'm sure that will turn out trivially. (Is that even a word? Trivially? I'm not sure.)

Country music has taken an interesting turn in the last few weeks. Well, maybe it's been longer than that. As usual, we have to point first blame in the direction of my favorite groundbreaker, Gretchen Wilson. You know Gretchen; she's the one who made it cool to be trailer-trash. Rich trailer trash, now. She's also the same artist who followed up Redneck Woman with When I Think About Cheatin'. The second song was actually about deciding against cheating, but Gretchen started something none-the-less. There was a time when every country singer sang about cheating, but things got all military and patriotic there for a while and pushed the whole subject aside. Not for long, though. A whole slew of artists have returned to the fold; and they're talkin' about cheatin' again.

Time was, all the cheating songs dwelled on sadness and broken hearts. Times have changed. The focus has shifted to what I'll call "she'll be just fine without that jerk" compositions. I've even written here in the past about one or two of these. George Straight's brilliant She Let Herself Go (currently number 3 on the charts) comes to mind. Canada's sweetheart, Terri Clark, was Mad for Awhile; but things got worse from there. Clark's latest release tells the story of a young mom who's bum of a partner walks away. She Didn't Have Time, with the help of a well-crafted video, shows us good things happen to she who waits. This song's single mom struggles to raise her very young daughter alone, through ballet class and tee-ball, while working full-time. Only a flat tire and luck finally hooks mom up with a studly guy to brighten her world. I wasn't worried, though; I knew the mom would triumph in the end.

That's the new trend, and it's definitely a positive one. For years we heard about scummy men who left their women lost and alone. We even heard about heartless women who left their men behind. (The guys always wanted the walk-away girls to come back. The reverse was rarely true.) That just ain't the way things work no more! Now the lovely songstress, Sara Evans, has joined the party. Evans, happily married and mother of three, has released a powerful single called (surprise!) Cheatin'. The refrain says it all: "You should have thought about that, when you were Cheatin'."

Her companion video clarifies any misconceptions we might have had about the dirtbag ex-husband described in the lyrics. He's a dirtbag, and he got what he deserved! More to the point, story-wise, the woman got the best end of the deal. She's driving his slick pick-up truck, living in his house, and generally lovin' life. He, meanwhile, is driving a clunker, living in a rented trailer, and eating pork and beans. Dirtbag. You have to see the video to enjoy this guy-basher. I'm a guy; and I'm man enough to enjoy it, I think.

Two other artists' current releases deserve mention here, as well. Miranda Lambert's hot new Kerosene reveals a lot of bitterness, but hints at better days ahead. (This one will probably get more discussion as a full-fledged Friday Song.) Nashville newcomer, Danielle Peck, offers up (Jesus Loves You) I Don't. You don't have to be a musical genius to figure out the message in that one. I Don't doesn't clearly say the girl gets the best of the break-up; but she certainly knows her mind. And she's not taking his calls, either, I'll bet!

You might think I'm being sarcastic here, but I assure I'm not. Lots of guys really are scumbags, and lots of women end up as single moms. That's reality, every day of the week. It's not funny, and there's enough pain to go around for everyone involved. (Yeah, I'm speaking from experience here.) The guys have had their say in the past, over and over again. So I'm happy to see the perspective shift to "her side." I think it's best for all concerned when things work out well for women who've suffered bad relationships. When there are kids involved, especially little kids, it becomes even more important. And, finally, like anything else involving important life issues, it's good to talk about it. That's one of the beautiful things about popular music: we listen, we consider, and then we talk about the message. That's a win-win, in my book.

[Artists' links, and some source material, courtesy of CMT.com.]